So I’m sat at home, tucked under a duvet and sipping hot tea. Cowboy Traders is on (mazin) and I’m trying to ignore the fact I have a nasty headache and achy bones.
Oh sick days! An unpleasant mix of guiltily ringing up your manager, and then festering in all your germs for the remainder of the day, popping painkiller pills left right and centre.
So it’s a rubbish situation anyway. But of course, my head likes to make life more difficult in any way it can.
When I’m sat at home doing practically nothing, my depression has a field day… There’s more opportunity to worry, to ruminate, to focus on negative things. I try to keep myself busy: I’m watching telly, playing with my dog… But all I want to do is simply relax, but it feels almost impossible to do that.
Is it so much to ask to have a quiet mind that doesn’t make me hate myself? I’m so tired of feeling like this. There’s only so many times you can tell yourself that everything’s okay. When it feels like the complete opposite 😦